More Than a Spouse: Taking the Leap, One Step at a Time
Holding It All Together
For many years, Melissa learned how to wait.
She waited through PCS moves and unfamiliar duty stations, while her children adjusted to new schools, new doctors, and new routines. She waited through deployments, TDYs, and the long stretches of uncertainty that often define military life. Like so many military spouses, Melissa became deeply skilled at holding everything together, often by quietly setting her own ambitions aside.
The woman Melissa is today no longer waits.
“Where I am today is much different than where I was even five years ago,” she says. “I take risks now. I take chances. If there’s something I’m interested in, I go for it. I will no longer be hiding in the shadows or hiding behind my husband.”
That confidence did not arrive overnight. It was built intentionally and steadily through service, education, and a growing belief that her goals mattered, too.
Finding Her Voice Through Service
Melissa’s turning point began with volunteering. When her children reached school age, and she found herself searching for direction, she decided to volunteer with the USO. Naturally shy, she gravitated toward behind-the-scenes roles at first, serving lunches and staying out of the spotlight.
Then one day, she was asked to work the front desk.
“I realized I knew these people,” she recalls. “They had been through similar experiences to me. I started talking, and I realized people aren’t that scary.”
That moment marked a shift. Through volunteering, Melissa found her voice, her confidence, and a renewed sense of purpose. What began as service became a catalyst for growth, helping her reclaim an identity beyond her role as a military spouse.
Reframing Adaptability as a Strength
Like many spouses, Melissa’s professional journey has been shaped by constant movement. “You can build a career in one place, and then it’s time to PCS,” she explains. “You move somewhere new, and the job you had, or the opportunities you were working toward, may not exist there.”
Rather than allowing that uncertainty to stall her progress, Melissa learned to reframe it. Over time, she came to see adaptability not as a compromise, but as a professional strength that translated across roles, industries, and environments.
When interviewing for jobs, Melissa is transparent about being a military spouse. “I tell employers every time,” she says. “I frame it positively. I’m adaptable, flexible, and used to change. I can go with the flow, and those skills are valuable in any workplace.”
Higher Education, Grounded in Connection
Melissa’s career in higher education administration allows her to bring both her professional expertise and lived experience into the same space. As a Student Success Program Coordinator, she supports nontraditional, online learners and recently played a key role in launching a mentorship initiative specifically for military-affiliated students. The work has added new depth to her career, particularly as she sees firsthand how shared understanding can open doors for students navigating unpredictable schedules, benefit delays, and the demands of military life.
“Working with military-affiliated students adds a whole new layer of meaning,” Melissa says. “There’s an immediate connection.”
That sense of familiarity often creates space for trust and openness, especially when students are paired with mentors who understand their experiences. Connection has become central to how Melissa approaches her work and her relationships.
“There’s always some way to connect with people,” she says. “You might have to dig a little, but you will find it if you try.”
Alongside her career growth, Melissa continued investing in herself academically. After years of steady progress, she recently completed her Master of Business Administration, a milestone she worked toward while balancing family life, professional responsibilities, and the constant movement of military life.
Stepping Fully Into the Moment
If Melissa could offer guidance to military spouses at the beginning of their journey, it would be shaped by the lessons she learned along the way.
“Don’t wait,” she says. “I waited so long to do anything for myself, whether that was my career, my interests, or my goals. I waited for my husband to be around. But he’ll be back. It’s okay. Do the thing. Just do it.”
Today, Melissa’s story shows what happens when patience turns into presence and courage turns into action. She meets this chapter head-on, grounded in the work she has done and confident in her ability to grow beyond it. Rather than rushing forward, she claims this moment as both an achievement and a foundation for what comes next.
Melissa is more than a spouse. She is a professional shaped by adaptability, a mentor grounded in connection, and a woman who chose to take the leap, one step at a time. Her journey is a reminder that military spouses are not defined by what they delay or sacrifice, but by what they continue to build, again and again, wherever life takes them.
NMFA invites military spouses everywhere to share their stories and be seen for the full scope of who they are. Your journey, in all its complexity and growth, matters. If you have a story to tell, we want to hear it.
Together We’re Stronger ®
By: Olivia Brinsfield, Content Manager
